We are seraching for a direction to move in that automatically helps us focus and affects everyday decisions. This week’s challenge is to dig a little deeper for the root cause of each problem in the list you did last time. Sometimes professional help is needed to understand this.
It is important to take this in several steps, even if repetitive, as we otherwise only relieve symptoms instead of the actual cause that created the symptoms. The basic idea behind today’s exercise is that we are smart beings that adapt to our surroundings to survive both physically and psychologically. Hence, symptoms and problems have often arisen for a reason as ways of defending or protecting us against a situation, a habitat that we needed to adapt to, often family upbringing, school environment etc. Hence, often have these strategies been functional in the context you were in, but now they do no longer work or have other, unwanted consequences.
Look at your list of basic problems. For each of them, think about how you feel when you’re in a situation where the problem is – for example in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, like making a speech:
What were you thinking about right before? About you? About others? How are those thoughts negative, critical, self-attacking, agitaed?
What’s the worst with the situation? What is the disaster you are trying to avoid? What feelings do you have that you want to understand or change? Sadness? Frustration/anger? Shame? Fear? Are you afraid of something: afraid of dying/showing insecurity, what people will think of you, being discovered/incompetent/a bluff, losing your job? What do you miss when being in that situation? Pride? Independence? Courage? Want more joy, desire or inspiration in your life? Then ask: How did you get here? When did the problem start – what happened in your life right before?
Do not worry if you did not get any insights, your understanding will develop over time in exercises to come, aiming to find a deeper, exciting and more meaningful direction.
In the next exercise, I’m going to share a concrete tool that can help you understand your root cause.
#lifegoals #desireddirection #selfhelp