Here, the post “Increase your self-esteem by understanding the consequences of unhealthy shame” continues with how you can increase your self-esteem by understanding your feelings and heal self-destructive shame.
Increase your self-esteem by understanding the consequences of unhealthy shame:
Shameful thoughts can be eased-up and transformed by practicing taking new perspectives.
Try the following steps:
Situation – Describe the problematic situation in your current life and what triggered your reaction: I was attending a course and was asked a question I could not answer
Thoughts – What did that make you think: They must think that I am dumb
Feelings – What did that make you feel: Shame, embarrassment, angry at myself, sad for being inadequate
Behaviors – What did that make you do: I looked down and made sure nobody talked to me. At home I cried and studied the whole evening instead of going out
Consequences – What this pattern creates in your life, both short run and long run: I force myself to be overly prepared but still am uneasy around others. I isolate myself to not risk rejection, which also leads to loneliness, depressed mood and not starting a family, which I am longing for
More about shame and what to do about shame in upcoming posts.
See also the free blog or the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com
If you have any questions you can write a comment or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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