Increase your self-esteem by stopping harming yourself (1 minute read)
This post “Increase your self-esteem by stopping harming yourself” continues with how you can increase your self-esteem by managing your thoughts and feelings.
Increase your self-esteem by stopping harming yourself:
Turning against the self implies redirecting feelings towards oneself that were originally directed towards someone else.
It is an immature defense mechanism about punishing or harming oneself instead of the responsible person.
It is also about turning criticism and rage against oneself as a way to take control by feeling responsible rather than feeling powerless and vulnerable needing someone who is unreliable.
It is commonly used among victims of sexual abuse.
Self-punishment is also used when experiencing but wanting to avoid feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can be considered so forbidden and terrifying that a person instead is harming oneself with feelings of inferiority, guilt and even depression. Hence, depression can be the result of anger that we do not dare to aim towards an important person who is harming us.
The office worker who has a mean manager goes home and binge eats.
Or the betrayed wife who claims that she is to blame for her husband’s infidelity since she did not attend to his needs.
Or the depressed child blaming herself for her parents’ divorce.
More about how you can increase your self-esteem in the next post. See also the free blog or the course How to develop self-esteem and boost your confidence at https://jennyrappbefree.com
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