How To Challenge Being Insecure In Relationships
The posts of last weeks have been about our relationship pattern which affects our ability to take care of and calm our emotions as well as impacts our self-worth.
This connection is to a large extent based on childhood experiences which also impacts our expectations of to what degree we can depend on and get help from others.
During the last couple of weeks, I have posted the 4 different relationship styles and the typical behaviour of each.
Last week’s post was about six steps to develop our relation pattern and hence emotional life.
Another important strategy to become more secure in relationships is to experiment by behaving in an opposite manner.
The logic behind this is that we often act according to assumptions based on our relationship patterns. To get different results we therefore have to behave differently – even if this feels awkward or uncomfortable.
This means that if you usually only go on a handful of dates before ending the contact, even if you know you know you share similar values and preferences, you could consider give the person a few more dates.
If you usually allow physical contact on the first date, you might consider postponing that forcing you to focus on other dimensions that you are not equally used to.
More about how to develop security in relationships, feelings and emotional life in coming posts.
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